If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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