I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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