it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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