It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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