i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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