Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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