my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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