so explain again why im purple
no
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize