he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize