i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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