y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize