don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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