you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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