we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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