we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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