Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we made out on top of his cat.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize