When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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