Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize