apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize