my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize