You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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