Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize