Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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