I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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