I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize