I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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