and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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