Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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