Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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