I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize