He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
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