I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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