im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize