oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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