o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
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Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All I want is dick and wine.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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