I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize