their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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