I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
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I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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