don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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