Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at about main and main street
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize