if i can run in heels then i can drive
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize