What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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