can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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