When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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