i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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