Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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