First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize