Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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