The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
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something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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