you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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