The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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